[IMDBTop100] #74: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

two_thousand_and_one_a_space_odyssey_ver2Look Dave, I can see you’re really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over – Hal.

You said it Hal. Having just wasted 2 hours and 20 minutes of my life watching this movie, I’m incredibly reluctant to spend any more of my time reviewing it, so I’m going to keep this review as brief as possible. Stanley Kubrick’s ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ is a steaming turd of a movie. Seriously, I’ve had toothache which was more enjoyable than this film. Normally at this stage in one of my reviews, I give you a quick summary of the plot and a rundown of the cast, but this ‘film’ just seemed to be a nonsensical series of long-winded, poorly paced, space themed imagery which has been strung together by a musical score which quite frankly, at one stage, made me want to gnaw my own face off.

So what was wrong with it? Well, let’s start at the beginning…

A blank screen. Spoiler alert: For the first two minutes of the film (and another two minutes after the intermission) we a treated to a completely black screen with an annoying humming sound played over the top of it. This black screen initially made me think I had a faulty DVD and caused me to check the cables in the back of my DVD player before I realised it was an intentional part of the film – on that note why the hell is there even an intermission… on the DVD? Why? Why In gods name, on a single disc DVD, does anyone need an intermission? I think every VCR and DVD player which has ever been made has had a pause button. Idiots.

The Dawn of Man: The first of four main chunks of the film, in which we are again tortured by 20 minutes of apes sitting by a pool of water, screeching and wailing, hitting stuff with bones and touching a big black rock (or Monolith). A monkey throws a bone in the air and we cut to…

TMA-1: …a space plane carrying a scientist to orbital space station. There is lots of classical music. He sit’s around for a while. He’s told about one of these black rocks buried on the moon. He goes to touch it. Something bad happens, and that might have been interesting except before we find out what is happening we cut to…

…ah… you know what. Who cares. Don’t ever watch it. It’s the single most boring thing I’ve ever seen. I literally don’t have enough interest left to finish off describing the rest of the film. Granted the effects are pretty damn good for the 60’s, but pretty pictures do not make for an interesting movie. Every single shot in this film lasts more than double what it feasibly should (I’d say half of the runtime is watching things float slowly through space), which in turn makes it visually uninteresting, it has absolutely no discernable plot and the characters are utterly drab and boring, leading you to make absolutely no emotional connection with them at all. I really cannot understand how this movie has become so iconic. I mean, It’s literally one of the most iconic films ever made – and yet it has absolutely nothing of interest to offer.

It boggles my mind that it’s in the IMDB Top 250 movies of all time, and even more that ANYONE would claim to actually enjoy this movie; even whilst tripping balls on acid, which I assume is required.

Thank god I get to watch the ‘Back To The Future’ trilogy next…

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About Ryan

This site is intended as a dumping ground for my interests and thoughts, but above all it's a here to record my progress on my ever expanding list of life goals. I want to impove myself, to learn new things, to see the world and to experience everything I possibly can. It's a simple goal which has led me half way around the world and given me some amazing memories to keep, stories to tell and friends to cherish. I try to enjoy my life as much as anyone can and I record these memories and thoughts for my own purposes, but the hope is to inspire.
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2 Responses to [IMDBTop100] #74: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

  1. Ste Cross says:

    Visually its an amazing, definitely not a pace and snappy dialog kinda film, maybe takes its time on the narrative at times. I wouldn’t recommend you watch vahalla rising 😉

  2. Owain Lee says:

    I have tried watching it about four times and failed every time.

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